Yesterday, I woke up and tried to think that everything was fine. I tried not to think on my headache. I tried to get up. I saw my hands, they were painted, it was strange. I tried to figure out what happened the night before. I remembered everything, I always remember everything, even when I'm drunk. I tried to close my eyes and go back to sleep, but I couldn't give it. I tried to find my cell phone. I textted to my friend, Mauro. I needed to know about him, cause that night we missed each other on that crowdly place. He never answered my message. I tried not to think on the hand that I hold that night. I felt him nearby, but I must admit it: The boy is one of those younger boys who only want to have fun. Is that wrong? I tried to tell myself that I'm the one who is wrong, I don't have to believe in the one nights kisses. This is not the first time that it happens to me, and I'm always falling. When will I learn the lesson? I'm still trying to find the answer.
Last night, I met Mauro. We went for a walk and talked about the night before. I almost cried, but there he never realized that. The Ice Tea was really cold, as cold as I use to feel everyday.
Today, I woke up earlier than I thought that I would. I didn't feel like going out to work, I didn't feel like talking to people... I'm still like that. How can it happen? My friends told me that outside, the sun is shining, but I'm here, locked at my house, writing as if I would want to kill myself and this would be the last day in life.
Twenty years old, is this the ballad of the broken heart? Is this the story of my twenty years old? Always trying, day by day. Trying. Trying to forget, trying to wake up, trying to understand, trying to find the way to go on, trying to tell myself that I'll be better in to couple of days, trying to hide myself, trying not to puke, trying not to tell the truth, trying to convince my friends that their lifes will get better when I can't even convince myself about that, trying to be on time to work, trying, everything seems to be just try. And I... I'm almost tired to try.
Monday, August 10, 2009
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4 comments:
You musn't try to, you must convince. All the people is tired of trying, tired of this fucking world full of bad and unfair things and people. If you have a reason for fight, do it. I think that ourselves are enough reason for keep trying, we are an excellent one. So do it for you! Come on! You have ONLY 20 years old and you say that like you were on forties! I'm not suggesting that it's going to be easy, I know that it isn't, but when I am happy or something like that with me, it's all ok, and that is just the reason for keep trying. Try it (redundant to say).
Hola, después de tanto hincharte, y que no me cuentes nada, termino enterandome de todo, pero en inglés. a Vos te parece? A vos te parece todo ésto? A vos te parece sentirte así? y si mandás todo un poco al carajo? No pienses no pienses no pienses. Qué es lo que tanto te duele, qué es?
El viernes hablamos, no sólo te voy a escuchar, te voy a hablar.
Todo tiene solución, la vas a encontrar, es sólo un click, el click de decir 'a la mierda con todo'.
Te quiero, soñé con vos, pero no me acuerdo qué, sé que estaba el anotador que te regalé.
Te acordás que te hizo bien el festejo en tu casa? Por qué no recordás eso y te acordás de lo feo?
Amigo.
tengo 20 y ya estoy cansado de esperar
hablo con un viejo que me quiere aconsejar
no quiero abrazarte, pero no quiero dejar
invité a una amiga
va a venir a merendar
no quiero abrazarte, pero no quiero dejar de ver tu cara que me da felicidad cuando me voy a acostar ♪ ♪ ♪
♥
Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body? I don't know
(dejarse llevar es más complicado de lo que parece, menos cuando es realmente inoportuno)
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